


The Prisons of War and the Wars of Prison

by lgbtandmore



Series: Trans Hamilton [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Gen, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Marquis de Lafayette, PTSD Lafayette, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-23 15:41:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7469361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lgbtandmore/pseuds/lgbtandmore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laf spends over five years in prison, but they aren't always there for those five years. If they had a choice, they would have chosen the prison over this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Prisons of War and the Wars of Prison

Laf is exhausted. They've been in prison for... actually, they've lost count of the days, but they're almost positive it's been at least a few months. It wouldn't be so bad, they figure, if they could get more than three hours of sleep at a time. Each time they've attempted to sleep, they've been haunted by nightmares of being back on the battlefield, fighting in the American revolutionary war, or the French revolution, and each time the nightmares get worse, and they wake up screaming, horrified, guards on either side of them pinning their arms to the ground.

They look up as the door opens, and a guard carries in a tray of food. It fills Laf with shame, the way the guard gives them an almost pitying look, setting the tray down and walking out again, closing the door behind her. Laf drags the tray over to them, picking up the bread and chewing slowly as they consider how to fall asleep without having horrible nightmares. They're partway through their food when there's a terrible screaming, and they hear gunshots ring out around them. The tray clatters to the floor, but Laf doesn't hear it. Instead, they're standing, cowering on the battlefield, as they watch both friend and foe fall, slain, to the blood stained ground of the battlefield.

Someone cries behind Laf, and they turn, only to see one of their men limping towards them, blood flowing down their chest from multiple wounds, and Laf can see shrapnel buried in the man's chest. "Please, help us. We're dying here, sir. We can't keep going like this. Please. Please..." There's more screaming, and Laf can't be sure who it's coming from, the people around them or Laf themself, and they're overwhelmed, on the verge of tears, desperate, concerned, not sure what to do, oh god, what if they let everyone under their commander die, what if they die, what if they can't pull it together, why aren't they pulling it together...

"Lafayette! Lafayette!" And there's the general, ready to reprimand them for being so careless, for not being prepared, they should have been prepared, why can't they feel anything, why can't they move?

"Lafayette!" The battlefield starts to melt away, and hold on, that's not supposed to happen, what's happening, and suddenly Laf is back in their cell, one guard struggling to hold them down, sitting on their chest. "Are you aware of where you are?" the guard asks, her eyes wide with worry, and Laf nods.

"I am in a cell, I am a prisoner, and... and I'm no longer on the battlefield in America. That isn't happening. That happened long ago," they say, and the guard nods, her expression changing from worry to pity.

"Yes, that's right. Can I trust you to be okay if I leave?" she asks, and Laf nods, slowly, unsure if they're actually giving an honest answer or not. The guard stands and leaves, and once again, Laf is alone.

They sit up, leaning against the wall, and try to steady their breathing. What just happened has never happened to them before, not while they've been awake, anyway. They aren't sure what this means, or what exactly to do with this information, but they know one thing: if they had a choice, they would prefer to be stuck here, rather than stuck in two places at once.


End file.
